Lessons Learned while at the hospital

I thought that I should post a little about the lessons that I have learned in hopes that it comes in handy for those about to have a new baby. Here they are listed, not in any particular order:



1. Bring a sleeping bag - hospital blankets are crap and wouldn't keep you warm in hell. Also, your wifes hormones are all messed up and they want it cold...real cold.

2. Bring your own pillow - unless you are a fan of the Lay's brand pillows (thin). I folded the one I had four times and it still wasn't enough support.

3. This whole experience has nothing to do with the guy, but that being said you are going to be the servant for the next.....I have no idea. You will also be required to get up and get things a lot, and I do mean a lot. Don't forget this time is not about you, it is about your wife.

4. You will not get any sleep. Accept it, move on.

5. Everyone's baby that you see while walking through the hall isn't nearly as cute as yours.

6. You are going to see things that you will never forget. Ever.

7. The panties that they make your wife wear, aren't what you wished they would be. Also, they don't like it when you ask are they a G-string. It seems nurses, wifes, and anything female bond together at this time and really don't like "funny" males.

8. Bring slippers - you will be required to run and get more ice water, at all hours of the night.

9. On the day of the baby arriving, plan on it being a really long day. Really long.

10. Have snacks / food available for when your wife is in labor, but (read this carefully) Do Not Eat or Bring Food around Her. She can smell it, and she can't have any.

11. When you are really tired, done all that there is to do, and you finally lay your head down for a little shut eye time, you will have to get up 2 seconds later because of a crying baby or something else. (maybe to fluff a pillow)

12. You will not be able to hear the TV, and there will be nothing on worth watching.